Heimskuleg spakmæli: Annar hluti....

       Regnhlífin er gagnslaus í rigningu vegna þess að hún er ennþá í búðinni.

       Sundskýlur er ekki góðar í leikhúsum.

       Ísland er ekki hópi vestrænna ríkja, hafiði kíkt nýlega á landakortið.

       Sumrin á Íslandi er eins kona sem gefur bara koss á aðra kinnina.

       Ef íslensk fyndni gæti orðið útflutningsvara myndi lánshæfni ríkissins dala.

       Konur eru gömlum dúkkum verstar.

       Töffari hættir að vera töffari um leið og ljósmyndarinn er búin að smella af.

       Maður er orðin gamall þegar maður kvartar yfir því að Fréttablaðið komi ekki.

       Forseti er maður sem engin veit hvað gerir en er sívinnandi.

       Ritstjóri moggans væri hægri hönd guðs ef hann væir ekki svona upptekinn.

       Í Bónus er allt lágt, vöruverðið líka.

       Geysir varð klámfengin um leið og netið hóf innreið sína.

       Flestir vita hvað gerist um Hvítasunnuna; frí á mánudeginum.

       Fegurðardrottningar versla ekki í Bónus eða Krónunni.

       Gamlar rauðsokkur geyma öskunni af brjóstahöldunum í krukku fyrir ofan arinhilluna í villunni.

Heimskuleg spakmæli. Fyrsti hluti....

   

       If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. Brooke Shields

       A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

       As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error. Weisert

       We apologize for the error in last week's paper in which we stated that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce.

       Correction notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper

       Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly. Batman costume warning label

       The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than others. Gerry Brown

       I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them. George Bush

       I was provided with addtional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version.

       We are sorry to announce that Mr. Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover. Parish Magazine

       Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything. Ivana Trump, on finishing her first novel.

       I've read about foreign policy and studied, I now know the number of continents. George Wallace, 1968 presidential campaign.

       The world is more like it is now then it ever has before. Dwight Eisenhower

       If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very low crime rate. Marion Barry, mayor of Washington, D.C.

       Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, "Thank God, I'm still alive." But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again. Sen. Barbara Boxer, (D, Calif.)

       You read what Disraeli had to say. I don't remember what he said. He said something. He's no longer with us. Bob Dole.

       I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. President George Bush

       You can't just let nature run wild. Wally Hickel, former governor of Alaska

       Dan Quayle Quotes(extending his hand during a campaign stop): I'm Dan Quayle. Who are you? Woman: I'm your Secret Service agent.

       If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle

       We are not ready for an unforseen event that may or may not occur. Dan Quayle

       Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that is by itself. It is a --it is different from the other 49 states. Well, all states are different, but it's got a particularly unique situation. Dan Quayle

       It is wonderful to be here today in the great state of Chicago. Dan Quayle

       It's time for the human race to enter the solar system! Dan Quayle, on the concept of a manned mission to Mars.

       I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix. Dan Quayle

       What a waste it is to lose one's mind.  Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is. Dan Quayle